The "Well, This Sucks" Layoff Survival Guide

From Pink Slip to Power Move: Survival Kit

Welcome to the elite club of "too expensive to keep around" tech pros! Just got laid off? Feeling like you've been drop-kicked from the corporate mothership? Don't worry, we've got your back (unlike your ex-employer).

This guide is your irreverent companion through the cesspool of career transition. We'll help you navigate:

• The emotional rollercoaster (tears and rage-typing included)
• Financial triage (because instant ramen shouldn't be a food group)
• LinkedIn makeovers (time to catfish some recruiters)
• Personal branding (become the Beyoncé of your industry)
• Networking without losing your dignity (mostly)

Written by someone who's been there, done that, and got the unemployment t-shirt, this guide turns your lemon of a situation into a cocktail. We'll take you from "Oh crap, I'm jobless" to "Oh watch, I'm unstoppable" faster than you can say "severance package."